Gotta get organized

I’m not a very organized person. I try, and “most” important things are under control. I don’t miss bill payments, I keep up with all the organizational needs of my work and my kids’ schedules and I remember most of my family’s birthdays – at least sometime during the correct month. (Numbers – in any form – dates, taxes, addresses, phone numbers, ages - just blur in my head. I write A LOT down. Finding where I wrote it….huh. That’s another trick.) But basically, life stays mostly in reach. Until recently. Lots to say on this, but today is about needing to get organized on one specific thing -  where the hell did I write that down at?

You see, I do quite a bit of writing in notebooks in “stolen” moments. Much of my writing time isn’t done in a peaceful, distractionless office (I’m not sure if I’ve even SEEN one of those) for hours at a time. I run around living life with these stories blaring away inside my head and as soon as I can, I let them bleed out into the closest spiral notebook laying around (of which there are more than a few spread throughout my home due to this exact thing). I’ll scribble paragraphs down and then take the notebook with me to pick up my daughter to finish a thought and it will get left in the car. I’ll jot down a conversation in another notebook and stuff it into my computer bag to finish noting down expressions and background during lunch. I’ll write down ideas about setting while fixing dinner and then toss the notebook onto a shelf when I need the counter space to mix up a sauce. Are you getting the picture? Eventually, I do get around to putting it into the computer at a later date (at which point I am extremely thankful for my English background which makes the grammar and mechanics of writing mostly a given rather than another hurdle to jump before sending it off to my editor).

But my problem is FINDING the right notebook when I’m ready for it. Today I searched for nearly an hour trying to find the scene I had written down when Connyn first shows his “non-jerk” side to his mate. I needed that scene to move on. My brain wouldn’t process through to the next section until it had reviewed what I had written before. Apparently I have an innate refusal to just “jump” into a story at any place in it and start writing. I finally did find the notebook. In the dining room on a shelf under a stack of my daughter’s latest assignments brought home from school, a pizza delivery flyer and Optimus Prime (one of my son’s Transformers). And judging from the splatters across the bottom corner, I had been working on this while fixing last week’s lasangna.

There’s got to be a better way.

The habit of unhappiness

You would think, or at least I did, that if a person were unhappy – really unhappy – that they would know it. But from personal experience, I can say that this isn’t true. There was a time when I had been unhappy for so long that I didn’t even recognize it. I didn’t “feel” unhappy. I just felt normal. Which now when I think about it, makes me the most sad. That being unhappy could be normal. That I could be unhappy and not realize it, because by not realizing it, by accepting it as normal, I didn’t even attempt to change my situation, my outlook, whatever it took. What made me realize I had been so unhappy? I HAD to change my circumstances for my children’s sake, and then one day I woke up not feeling normal. I woke up happy. And I’m still happy – as crazy busy and in circles as I’ve been running these last weeks trying to keep up with all the areas in my life spinning off in different demanding directions – I’m still happy.

Though I need more sleep….

Oscar Night

So that’s what I’m doing – watching, laughing, clapping, groaning, (writing during commercials), critiquing dresses and making my list of movies I still need to see. Jeez! I hadn’t realized how very few movies I’ve seen this year! Ok, back to Oscar Night… Hope everyone had a great weekend!

High school crush

Good lord, did I have tons of high school crushes! They didn’t quite turn out like the one in my story Saint Jillian’s Rebel, but they sure left some good memories. What’s funny is that I don’t remember their names – most of them – but I remember the blue eyes of one, the first kiss of another, meeting another by literally crashing into him in the hall because I was late for class and wasn’t watching where I was going. An upperclassman, I doubt he’d have even noticed I was alive had I not just completely plowed straight into him. He picked up my books that had flown out of my arms, walked me to class (of which I was no longer concerned that I was late) and asked me out when we got there. I know. Sounds after-school-movie corny. But it’s all true and still gives me a fluttery warm feeling when I think about it.

Not all my high school crushes turned out so well. I was in crush-love with a guy that never looked my way. Wasn’t his type I suppose, not the peppy, built, blonde-in-a-bottle daddy’s little rich girl – which he eventually married. Much to my chagrin. (I crushed on him for years – clear through college, so please chalk the snarkiness up to all that pent-up unrequited “love”). Funny how things work out. Turns out, according to the post-high school grapevine he’s not made her too terribly happy because he doesn’t exactly have strong sexual “urges”.  Apparently, he wasn’t my type either.

Context counts

Haven’t been on for awhile – told you February was kicking my butt. Anyway…normally when I click online I skim through the headlines of whatever news site pops up (I’m regularly on about four different computers, and each one has a different homepage). Today the first headline I saw was this:  

Thou Shalt Have Sex – God Wants Us to Do It Every Day,
Minister Says: His Emotional Plea 

And the first thought I had was “Ooooh, my boyfriend would NOT be happy if I had sex every day” since he travels a lot for work and if I was having sex every, there’d be a lot of days he wouldn’t be involved. But the headline is very attention-getting, isn’t it? Of course, out of context, the information used in the title from the sermon makes one think that there’s a minister out there randomly suggesting that every person on the planet go orgiastic, which <gasp!>, isn’t what the article is about. But it did get my attention. That, of course, is the point. Goes to the “don’t judge a book by its cover” – or apparently – an article by its title.

I-love-you-I-love-you-too*kiss*

I think one of the best “first” kisses is a kiss that isn’t the first, isn’t the last, but is the first time you realize, in the long line of kisses with a steady significant other that the kiss is automatic. Those “have-a-good-day-I-love-you-I-love-you-too” quick kiss and I’m out the door kisses. I often hear about these kind of kisses in a negative light, but I don’t think so. I mean how great is it to have someone you get to kiss “automatically”? Who’s there to kiss you back without thinking about it. There are still stomach-fluttering moments, giddy, heart-pounding times. But those can come with a stranger too. Or an aquaintance, a “new” love. But that natural, automatic kiss that seems like a throw-away, unthinking action is precious for that very reason. It’s a gift of time, and too often we take it for granted. But that’s part of it too. Having something so precious, so common. I keep hearing that line “It’s later than you think.” It might be, so time to smile with all the everyday things in life that make it good.

Where are the flowers when you need them?

February is kicking my butt. I could do with Valentine’s Day NOW. Today. Yesterday. What? It’s still two days away? It’s been crazy. Work, kids, colds, weather, a dog that’s turned into a little psychotic chewing tornado and to top it all off, I got a phone call asking if I wanted to coach soccer. (If you knew me, you’d be joining me rolling on the floor laughing…) Anyway, back to the kisses. I thought that for today, I’d post the last kiss I’ve written (I’m still looking for the first kiss I wrote – having to do some hunting on that).

For those who are keeping up with the Ilyrian series, here’s a quick excerpt (unofficial and unfinalized version) of that kiss from Connyn’s story. Hope you enjoy!

By the time he stopped, she had to tilt her head back to maintain eye contact. Propping her hands on her hips, she returned his glare and held her ground. If he wanted a fight, she sure as hell could accommodate him. All she had to do was funnel all this sexual tension he kept stirring up in her and focus it into an angry confrontation. Something she was well able to do. She’d had lots of practice on focusing thanks to the unique abilities passed down through her mother’s bloodline.

Connyn was so close, she could feel the heat from his body. The temptation to lean into it was strong and her thoughts took a quick little side trip imagining running her hands over his broad chest and pressing her breasts against that wall of solid muscle.

For a moment, she thought he was just going to try and stare her down. Braced for some form of assault, she was totally unprepared when he reached up and brushed his fingertips down her cheek. Shocked by his action, she flinched back away from his touch. He frowned and slid his hand around the back of her neck, holding her gently but firmly. The staring contest ended when his gaze roamed over her face and his thumb gently stroked the side of her face.

“Aurora.”

The way he said her name, a deep rumbling like a whispered roar that made her feel both protected and vulnerable at the same time. A very unnerving sensation.

All thought flew out of her mind as Connyn’s mouth settled over hers in a kiss that sent electric heat zinging through her body, riding currents of lust that converged between her legs with a desire so strong she wondered if he hadn’t drugged her at some point. His mouth moved over hers and her knees threatened to give out. In a reflexive attempt to keep upright, her fingers dug into his leather coat. Until now, she hadn’t even realized she’d been hanging on to him.

His hand moved up her back, holding and supporting her as his tongue slowly but lightly traced the line between her closed lips. It was a gentle, sensual caress that sent a full-body shiver through her.

Surprise me!

It’s funny when I started thinking of kisses how a certain one kept coming to the front of my mind today. This kiss was a surprise. The first surprise kiss I’d had in a long time. I was at a party with my boyfriend some time ago and I was coming back down the hall from the back of the house. I turned the corner and he stepped out in front of me, startling me and stopping me short. He had this very intense look on his face, but before I could ask him if something was wrong, he grabbed me and kissed me senseless. By the time he let go of me, I was dazed and completely ready to leave the party. With him. Right then. <sigh> But we didn’t. He grinned down at me and led me back to the main part of the house. Damn it. But ever since then, that’s been one of my top ten favorite kisses.

First kiss

The first kiss I remember was a very, very long time ago. All the way back to kindergarten. His name was Mike, and he had black hair and dark eyes. We were under the monkey bars at recess after lunch. He asked me to marry him and I kissed him on the cheek. And that was that. It was very sweet and innocent and makes me smile any time my thoughts wander back there. Today I don’t remember a lot of things about my early years of school (aside from never getting to be the wake-up fairy of nap time because I never managed to lie silently through the entire quiet time – but that’s another story), I don’t remember teachers’ names, lessons learned, snacks or much else. But I do remember my first marriage proposal.

Countdown to Valentine’s Day!

Here’s to being halfway through one hell of a week! Yay! Yee-haw! and Woo Hoo! Been offline for several days mostly because I’ve been under the weather. Not helping with this week.

But on the other hand, next week is Valentine’s Day.  I love Valentine’s Day! The hearts, chocolate, flowers, kisses…. oh yes! My favorite part. I just read a great article at AskMen.com giving men 10 tips on making that first kiss a winner. And the tips are great. Though I personally loved the “Don’t Slobber” (of course! Ick!) and “Be Alone” – very few things kill a first kiss for me like having it planted on me with an audience watching. I mean, I may not be sure that I’m ready or want that first kiss yet, but I’m damn sure I don’t want it in the middle of a crowd! I wish all the men I kissed the first time had read this article.

So, starting tomorrow, we’re a week away from Valentine’s. And now I’m thinking about kisses. I’ve had a lot of first kisses in my short life. :)  The first real “boy” kiss, the first “married” woman kiss, the first “my baby” kiss, the first “divorced” woman kiss, the first “in love again” kiss…and so many more. Who knew there could be so many first kisses? All so different, each special in its own way. I think over the next week I’ll share some of those. I might even dig through my old stories and find the first kiss I ever wrote.