Loving Summer

One of the things I love about summer is not having to know every day what day it is, or even what time it is. In fact, I was shocked to learn just this past weekend that July was half over. I thought we were still around the 7th or 8th. This is one of the reasons I would find it very hard to ever leave teaching for anything but full-time writing or full-time lottery-money-spending. Yes, I do love teaching – absolutely, and I don’t teach for the summers – but summer break is a HUGE bonus/blessing and I’ve never wished it were shorter or gotten bored. Heck, I bought a new house and have barely seen it so far – too much traveling and out-and-abouting. This is the first really “calm” and at-home week I’ve had this summer. (Which possibly accounts for me finnally realizing the date.) Of course, I may be expecting calm too early – it is only Monday.

Back soon…

I would never suggest that a teacher buy a house and move in the last month of school. It’s crazy. Insane. Bordering on stupid. But sometimes unavoidable. I started out thinking, wow, I could do so many cute things in this room, and I could put together a great patio for entertaining framed by those two large trees out back and oh yes, there are at least six ideas from that last Home and Gardens show that would work perfectly here. And now, about two weeks later I just want to find my silverware, my CDs, favorite pair of black work heels and a place to sit that I don’t have to clean off first. And then, the day after school is out, I’ll be traveling for approximately the entire month of June. I think I need to have a chat with my secretary. Oh yeah. HA! That’s me. Ok, I have boxes staring at me and I really would like to quit eating sandwiches…

More to come… eventually.  

I want to be there!

Where’s there? Today it was on a plane flying far overhead through the beautiful blue sky while I was stuck in traffic on Friday afternoon with two impatient kids in the backseat and a loooooong list of things to do for the weekend – with moving, ending school and all…. I don’t care where the plane was heading. Out of the city, state, country – didn’t matter. I just WANTED TO BE ON IT!!!

One more thing

Ok, I guess I needed something else to fill in any spare moments in my life – so I decided to buy a house. YAY!! I’m so excited! Then I open my eyes and see all the paperwork and I’m slightly terrified. So I close my eyes again AND I’M SO EXCITED!! And going in a solid eight different directions and needing coffee more than ever! Since sleep is just out of the question at this point. But then again….YAY!!!

Is it summer yet?

I’m so past the “Is it Friday yet?” syndrome and am SO ready for sum-sum-summer time!! I want to walk barefoot on the sidewalk at dusk and feel the warmth still held in the sidewalk. Smell freshly cut grass and suntan lotion. Switch my margaritas out for mojitos and enjoy long, sun-lit evenings. I want to shed the sweaters and jackets and pull out the tank tops, shorts and break in a new pair of flip-flops, preferably with cute little jingling jewels that match the new shade of bright polish on my toes. And this yearning for summer has absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that I’m a teacher with a classroom bursting at the seams with wiggly, hormone-infused, stir-crazy, are-we-done-yet-this-is-boring-can’t-we-just-watch-the-movie teenagers with attention spans shorter than a gnat’s blink. Absolutely nothing. I promise.

HA! 

The habit of unhappiness

You would think, or at least I did, that if a person were unhappy – really unhappy – that they would know it. But from personal experience, I can say that this isn’t true. There was a time when I had been unhappy for so long that I didn’t even recognize it. I didn’t “feel” unhappy. I just felt normal. Which now when I think about it, makes me the most sad. That being unhappy could be normal. That I could be unhappy and not realize it, because by not realizing it, by accepting it as normal, I didn’t even attempt to change my situation, my outlook, whatever it took. What made me realize I had been so unhappy? I HAD to change my circumstances for my children’s sake, and then one day I woke up not feeling normal. I woke up happy. And I’m still happy – as crazy busy and in circles as I’ve been running these last weeks trying to keep up with all the areas in my life spinning off in different demanding directions – I’m still happy.

Though I need more sleep….

Oscar Night

So that’s what I’m doing – watching, laughing, clapping, groaning, (writing during commercials), critiquing dresses and making my list of movies I still need to see. Jeez! I hadn’t realized how very few movies I’ve seen this year! Ok, back to Oscar Night… Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Nearly out for the count – Almost

Yesterday was one of those workdays. I got home thinking, “ok, so I didn’t get fired and no one died.” So it wasn’t all bad. I’ll be back tomorrow.

Something my sister taught me

My sister is one of the best moms I know and she taught me the most important thing about raising children – though I don’t know if I can actually put it into words. It’s more of a lesson absorbed from example and understood in a way to change my life. Basically, she makes time for her kids. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Yes, she has a very busy life, works full-time, and stays healthy with regular work-outs and no, she doesn’t have a nanny, a driver, a chauffeur or a personal shopper or assistant. But it’s not the “planned” or “quality vs quantity” time type of lesson. This lesson was all about choice. She chooses to do things with her kids when she really has other things on her plate that “must” get done. But she’s learned to separate the urgent from the important. The urgent will always be there, or immediately be replaced by another urgent. The important will grow up when we’re not looking, so quickly we’d swear the world was on fast forward and move away, leaving us with only memories to hold and not little hands.

See, that’s what she’s good at. Making memories. Her kids won’t remember the December she got all her Christmas shopping done early and the presents wrapped beautifully. They will remember the day they stayed home from school after it had snowed all night, and although she had planned on crossing a dozen more item of her holiday to do list, she took them sledding because, “Please mom? It’s perfect for it!” Made hot chocolate. Made a fire. Played a game. The only snow day that year. The only time it snowed enough to go sledding.

This was SO not me. I was an “urgent” person all the way. When the choice is there, urgent or important, sometimes it’s hard to see the important because the urgent screams and jumps up and down and just makes a god-awful fuss and often comes with a busybody ready to make you feel guilty if you haven’t done what you oh-my-god-just-have-to-do. Check email! Clean the car! Mop the kitchen!  And I might still be rushing around trying to put out those urgent fires 24/7 if it were not for my sister’s example.

I still slip into that sometimes. But now I work at balancing my life better. When my kids look back on their childhood, I want their memories to be more than, “Oh yeah, that was the time mom got all her papers filed and got the laundry washed, dried, folded and put away all in the same day.” Ha! Like they’d even remember that. Like I’D ever remember that.

I think one of the best blessings of life is having the opportunity to fill it will memories. This “child” lesson really did change my life. Not just with time and my children, but with every area. When there’s a choice of making a memory or crossing another thing off the list, I’m going to jump at the memory. Because my list is always there and always long. But an opportunity for a memory? It melts away as fast as a snowflake caught on your tongue. 

Those darn HEA’s

For those of you unfamiliar with acronyms related to the World of Romance Writers, that Happily Ever After. You know, like Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty – …and they lived happily ever after. Ok, today was one of those Mondays that leave the body tired and the brain drained, so tonight I’m going to cheat a little and paste a response to another blog I was surfing about why I love to read romances.

I love romances for a list of reasons. But at the heart of my list is “and they lived happily ever after.” The ending everyone wants. The golden, glowing, I-know-I-can-touch-it-this-time-if-I-stand-on-my-tippy-tip-toes-and-stretch-a-little-further hope. The ideal my heart reaches for always regardless of the other lessons learned in real life. In a romance, no matter what happens, true love is not only possible, but WILL happen, WILL fight, WILL triumph. And most important, will last. I live in a very real world – don’t we all? I need that break, that glimpse into hope that keeps me grounded and encouraged. Because though I don’t see my ideals realized often – any ideals, not just “true love” – I still believe in them. But some days those beliefs get a terrific beating and a good romance – erotic, sweet, historical, paranormal, etc. is just the patching up I need for all those scrapes and bruises.